PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Sat, May 12, 2018 11:13:45
(photo from an art jam at Rock Cafe in Prague, during the Suicide Commando show. I kinda found this more interesting, though the gig was amazing! )
As many of you know, I decided to leave Oslo in order to seize my life back. Apparently in Prague where I got an offer to work for a really cool gothic fashion company run by a friend of mine.
Prior to this I was on welfare, I was depressed, struggled with anxiety, sleeping issues and so on for the past years. Last time I wrote, it had all gone down more and more, but there was only one thing I knew that would get me further, and that was having a full daily routine again. To work and have a proper structure in my already chaotic mindset.
I am still struggling with some issues, but grabbing the demons by the horns and piggybacking them onwards to adventure seems to be constantly helping. Your demons can push you forwards, if you can face them, but facing them is hard... very hard.
Things are going great here, and I am still painting more or less every day, exploring, going on adventures, and really treasuring the time I have.
For once I feel happy. I have frustrations, anger, and waves of emotions hammering me, but still I feel happy. Stronger. Enough to, and ready to punch life in the face and hug it!
That being said. Here is some requested picture spam from my life here! I am sorry for not really posting much anymore, but I should really do an overhaul on my page here. Add my new works etc. And I will eventually.
Meanwhile please go follow my instagram at:
I update it frequently ^^
Have a beautiful weekend shines <3
(Photospam from some adventures! The churches seen is the Cathedral and cemetery in Vycherad, and also the St Vitus Cathedral, which is absolutely breathtaking <3 Also seen is Meet Factory, which is a renter for contemporary art.)
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Mon, December 18, 2017 09:35:18
Winter is here, and it's freezing! Oslo is the annual deathtrap, and people are on shopping frenzy. Oddly enough in the midst of these chaotic times, I am doing really well. Thank you all for the wonderful support. It has definitely kicked me up in these gloomier days<3
I have been ill unfortunately, so not as much painting as I do, but there are new works in progress and a whole lot of plans and ideas for next year.
(A little Unicorn Bunny I did for a client a little while ago ^^ Acrylic on wood)
Oh and I also clean up my face! Haha! So no more face fluff, which was a really bad timing considering the cold weather. I am feeling more like myself again.. for some odd reason. I like it. Been forcing myself into new habits as well in order to be able to sleep, which seems to be working. Surprisingly enough it's as simple as putting the phone far away, and keeping books close by instead.
(Picture taken before our last gig with Batboner at Revolver, playing support for Alfahanne. I got Id'ed that night. I'm happy to be 30, and still looking fab. )
Back to not painting as much, I'm back at the studio today for another two-three days before heading to my home town for Christmas. Meanwhile I have been experimenting a lot more with music, especially synthesizers. I recently sold my old TR61 Workstation, in order to get a piano instead, though I ended up now with a second hand Korg MS-20 mini, which is a wonderful piece of mood swinging analog synth. I sold off my outdated audio interface as well and got a newer one which actually supports my operating systems, so I hope to record more sounds again soon. So far I am getting back to knowing more of my equipment on a deeper level, trying to program sounds etc. It feels like painting, but with sound, and I love it.
My love for synthesizers has also inspired me to do a new complete collection of artworks, but before that, I promised myself to finish up all my ongoing projects. So many pieces to do, and so little time ^^ It's exciting!
(My tiny little midi keyboard. Arturia Minilab MK2. It had some cheap looking wood panel prints on the side, so I put my stickers there instead!)
In some other news, I decided to close my Patreon. In order to get followers etc, you need to create content, and I think that too much online upkeep is not good for me at all. I am trying to keep posting to a minimum whatever it is, though my instagram is more or less on a constant flow. I'm looking to do a makeover on my website as well. Fresh it up a bit, but all in due time. But yes.. less focus on the online world, and more focus on getting things done.. or so I say and then go off to play games for hours! Some break from reality does feel nice though..
It's winter after all.
(Photo by Stefan Kristoffersen. We journeyed off into the woods for a little afternoon walk <3 )
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Mon, November 27, 2017 10:27:40
I'm still not really back on track with this, I must admit. I'm getting tired of being confined to writing on computers. Always trying to create some form of content.
So I decided I'll write here when I have something to actually write about, instead of repetetive ramblings... Also Christmas is here soon. I dread the day.
I'm still looking for a job to apparently get my life back on track.
And I am still, and always painting, because that's the track I want my life to follow.
Did have a weekend alone in the apartment for once though. Having a few days of privacy and silence was beyond wonderful. Embrace the silence my lovelies. It seems like we take it for granted these days..
(my main background these days. same as here, but white. Just nice, silent, silly noise)
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Tue, November 07, 2017 14:10:43
I'm back! Although a bit later than planned.. well just a few days. I see now that it has just been a short time since last, but to be honest, it feels like a year at least. I exhausted.
I stopped swimming, as I have been having problems sleeping and getting up in the mornings, so perhaps I should start going in the evenings instead. Swimming really cleared out my mind, so I do guess it's about due time I get back to it. I haven't been slaking though luckily. Just starting the day later.
A lot has happened the past time. Many events, concerts, and such. I opened up a patreon account as well, but no supporters yet. I think I need to keep up a better flow of posting, but to be honest.. I really hate having to spam out on social media and such, just for exposure. It's all a damn screaming competition it seems and what I desire the most is just to have a real venue for myself and others to have our works displayed. A little shop in a hole in the wall. A little sanctuary if you may.
And that I think has been set as a goal for the next 10 years. find that place, build that place. But first I need to build myself up. Get back on track in the somewhat real world with jobs and conformity. Though worry not my lovelies. I think I'm too old to conform now anyways, and it has never been an option regardless. haha!
Well.. in other news regarding this months of concerts and events, I was lucky enough to attend the viewing of We Are X Japan. An intense documentary of X Japan, one of my absolute favorite bands. Their drummer and writer Yoshiki was there as well for a Q and A. This I never thought would happen in my life, and I was lucky enough to meet him afterwards and have some precious items signed. If you haven't heard X Japan, I recommend going to youtube and look up "Art of Life" the live version.. It's 30 minutes of pure intensity and one of the greatest songs written in modern music history (actually listed next to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
(My portrait of Yoshiki, done in 2013. Now signed. I'm stoked)
Anywho. I'm painting, applying jobs, trying to sleep, trying to somewhat stay in shape, and trying not to get ill before our next gig on the 17th, which is a support gig for Alfahanne at Revolver in Oslo. I think it's going to be really really cool. Hope to see you all there.
I'm going to get back to my other bubbles now. I will write again from now on. It feels nice to be back.
(Myself and Yoshiki.. a very surreal moment)
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Sun, September 10, 2017 17:08:59
Finally a post that is on time, and maybe the last in some weeks. I am getting the help and such that I need, working on deadlines that I have set for myself, and also thinking about doing a little silly project of mine on instagram. This I call "A month of self portraits". Every day through October, I'll just post a picture of myself. Why.. I have no idea really. Maybe just to see what happens. #everything, and maybe the world is as shallow as we believe it to be. Though it's perhaps just me wanting to feed into my vanity again. It's been awhile. Call it a self experiment. Is that shallow? Mayhaps.
Though to be honest, I don't believe the world is shallow at all. It's a complex and neatly spun web of organized chaos, full of complex beings who look at each other as shallow pieces following the masses.. who knows. Maybe we all actually are.. Following cookie crumbles and cupcake pieces to our designed path down the road. All I really want to do is just paint and create things, that's most likely me following the trail of cookies and cupcake crumbs. I say it over and over again, and I am doing that too. Not just saying it, but constantly creating.
Production is going a bit slow these days, but I am back at least. I just have to remember to take some time off from the world to be able to take care of myself as well. Set of time to listen to my body and my mind.
And when my head throws me the sounds of drones and misery, my body tells me to punch it in the face, so I run, I swim, I do something physical in order to shape that sound. In the same way as I changed the face of my works. From the visually gritty, to the bright and silly. Same feeling, just another visual form.
Well.. I'll be back some day.. 5th of November seems nice.
Meanwhile.. follow my works at the social media thingie, and I will update you on life when I am back on this blog.
(Here is sadbot.. sadbot is sad, "Tasukete", 2016)
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Tue, September 05, 2017 10:30:35
It seems like I just don't get much writing done these days.. I am feeling more lost than ever, and I am back into actually looking for jobs now with help from a program that I'm in.
I'm feeling completely into the void, but at least I made the void more bearable for myself.
I have no clue what to do in this so called "real life, real job, real blablabla..", and it's when searching through these lists that I realize that I am neither qualified for most of these jobs, nor do I possess the skills or required level of talent, swag, right amount of coolness, not conform enough, or maybe it's the angle of the hat..
...I just have to push through. All I wish to do is to paint, but society has never been too fond of sustaining creative minds, except for a highly selected few..
..screw this.. I'm going to paint..
I'm lost, I'm frustrated..
And the fires burn black, pumping steam into my broken machinery, throwing me ahead, head first into the abyss; My home, My workspace, My love.
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Mon, August 21, 2017 07:41:18
(I was supposed to write about Worldcon, but for now I shall grace you with silly pictures of me and my dear friend Saija/Frillycakes! Check out her blog at
http://frillycakes.blogspot.com/ She rules the frills! D: PS Alex, we wish you were here <3)
Think it has been two weeks since last I posted something here.. Don't think this will be the longest of posts either. I came home from Worldcon in Helsinki last week, and since then I have been occupied with trying to get back on my feet from post-con depression, moving and sorting things out.
I now live with my dear friend Gustaf in his one room apartment in Oslo, dead center of the city. It's really nice, despite the noise coming from the outside.
I still need time to adjust, to get back on track with things and adapting to the facts that there are a lot of changes going on right now. I need to land, sort out my spaces. I have tried to do some new drawings and painting as well, but I am in a bit of a mind block.. might dabble with some landscapes again, just let my head go for awhile and not think too much about the technical aspects.
I am sorry for not writing much about Worldcon. It was amazing and my talk went well. I will make a post about it soon. Just not now. So in the meantime, please enjoy these lovely pictures of me and my dear and glorious friend Saija aka Frillycakes being silly sodds! Haha! Being reunited with wonderful friends, and making new ones is what makes conventions so magical ^^
(Also, Saija please don't kill me for posting these XD <3 )
(Sillyness galore! )
(wop wop! )
Oh and I didn't really get much other pictures at Worldcon! I did some, as well as a voice recording from my talk, but I'll write about that next time around I think.
PostsPosted by Floyd E. Vawter Fri, August 04, 2017 22:51:45
Another week, another highly delayed post. I just haven't bothered or remembered to be honest, but I did tell myself that I would write about this, and to whomever who follows my instagram story as well (Link above). So yeah. Last weekend I was back in my hometown Sandnes for a few days, and I dread that place :/
(One of my most curious belongings. A child size coffin, that I have been wanting to bring over to Oslo and convert to a coffee table <3 Been having this in my bedroom for awhile)
("Ruten" - the main bus-terminal. This is where everyone would gather, as well as all the junkies, alcoholics, misfits, etc that would just hang out here. I also got assaulted here years ago. Was not very pleasant )
(Years ago, this was a shoddy parking house. Now it's a fancy mall thingie with a mall-tattoo shop, which is quite unusual here. I feel sorry for the poor sodds. That shop was really nice though and a friend of mine works there. So I had to stop by to say hello)
Growing up, it was all fine etc. I had school, friends, things to do, more green area around, farms and fields. When I went back it all seems like a constant expansion project.. No fields or forests, just highway, construction sites, and rows upon rows of housings. It's a grey area.. It's always been that, and it's one of the few places I'm actually afraid to go out alone on a weekend night. It's a small place, which makes me an easy target, because I'm "different".
(One of the better attractions of the town, our local cemetery. Well one of them. As proper outcasts, we used to hang out here when we were grim teenagers. Now we're just grim..)
(This used to be some really nice fields leading up to a nice small forest..)
(This is where I went to school.. 8th to 10th grade.. perhaps the worst years of my life. We called this place a prison run by a religious lunatic.. and it kinda was)
Not sure how things really are there anymore though. I did not bother going out in the evenings, but I walked around during the days. It completely drained me. Like "an energy draining vortex" a friend of mine said. I could not agree more.
(Our fortress of a home. It doubled in size the past years.. This used to be a really lovely house built after WWII.. It was falling apart, but it really felt like a home. I had my large basement art studio bedroom, with paint stains, halfway melted floor and water-damaged walls as the windows would leak when it rained <3 ..now it's all shined up and most memories have left these walls..)
(Stavanger.. this place I enjoy, despite I can't really feel it anymore. Still home to some of the most wonderful people I know, and some years ago we played a gig here, which was absolutely amazing <3 I guess I just miss the old days here of punk and mayhem :) )
(The old part of Stavanger, or Old Stavanger as we call it. I really like these streets. So idyllic and fairly quiet. Too bad the housing prices here are stupidly high.. I never roamed these streets much. I was on the other side of this city mostly.)
There is nothing left for me there.. It's neighbor city Stavanger is a place I will always cherish, but even that place is not what it used to be. We had a wonderful run! I'm glad to be here in Oslo. Sorry I don't have anything slightly positive to say about it, but the positive part about Sandnes was shut down and demolished years ago. Thank you for all the memories <3